My kid is 10 now, which means I'm 10 years into this steep freaking learning curve called motherhood. Which means I've picked up a thing or two I'd like to share. Things I learned on my own. Or things mothers in-it-longer-than-me passed on. Like secret wisdom whispered in the night.
You're a grownass woman so you don't need my permission for anything. But you're also a tenderhearted sister in motherhood so just in case you need it...here's some permissions anyway.
You can say no to birthday parties. To going. And throwing. Seriously. A game changer.
You can say no to leaving the house.
You can cancel anything. At any time. And you don't need a reason.
You can stay home and clean and cook and get grounded. That doesn't mean you're a 1950's housewife.
You put your kids in front of screen when you need a break.
You can cry and let your kids see you're frustrated. And exhausted.
You don't have to sign your kid up FOR ANYTHING. They will be fine.
You can spend time with only those that FULLY nurture you.
Not everyone will like your parenting. Your kid will be fine.
You can hire a sitter so you can nap.
You can go to bed with your kids. At the same time. In the same bed.
You can eat all the cookies. All. Of. Them. And not share.
You can show up to any event with store bought CRAP.
Veggie tray. Cookies. Cake. Cut fruit.
You don't have to prove your parenting to anyone. To. Anyone.
The only educational activity your kid needs before 4 is reading and being loved.
You can break up with any mom friends at any time. For any reason.
And you can do the exact opposite of ALL of the above. If it feeds your soul.
Mothering (in particular...not just parenting) has gotten so freaking judgy. We're on display all the time and we better be doing it freaking RIGHT all. the. time. "Right" according to thousands of opinions.
There is no right. Just the love in your heart.
I look around and see EXHAUSTION. Cause we don't just have to actual mother. We have to SHOW that we are mothering. We have to SHOW it so everyone knows.
NURTURE YOURSELF. NURTURE YOUR FRIENDSHIPS. I swear to you. If you wrap yourself in love and love and love...everything else will fall into place. If you think first...do I really WANT to do x, y, or z? Or do I think I HAVE to?
Be with others who leave you feeling juicy and energized. Be with people who you could trust with your kid if you dropped dead in that moment. Do the things that feed your soul. YOUR SOUL.
Your soul matters most in this equation.
If you need some help remembering who you are and what nurtures your soul, here's my Mama Self Care Course. Cause we all go down the rabbit hole of drowning in motherhood at some point.